It took a month for time warner to get cable hooked up in our new place. One or two things of note have happened since then, but no one even uses god damned livejournal anymore anyway, so if I really wanted people to know I'd make me a facebook page or a myspace or whatever the kids are using these days. Or I'd just fucking talk to people. In either case, I don't imagine I'll be updating this much any more. I started keeping a journal anyway, so the whole 'being able to look back on stuff' thing is not dependant on this any more.

Hip hip hooray for hip hip hippy house!

Man, I even procrastinate at shit I want to do. Maybe I've just had better shit to do. Ha ha ha. But anyway, some shit that's gone down. Hm. I bought myself my first piece. It's quite nice. I named it The Remedy, inspired by a mighty mighty bosstones song and Pete's ringtone (which is the song), it was an on the spot decision made while I was baked, but that's how it should be, I think. They changed the bus scheduel for old town/orono to make it "more convinient" and to eliminate some of the problems they had, such as the bus never actually running on scheduel. Swing and a miss. Another good reason to try and find a job that's not all the way in Bangor. I should get on that. Pete got a kitten, quite possibly the greatest kitten ever, except when he grows up he'll probably be a killing machine. Or burnt out. Sam got a job delivering pizza for Lissus in Orono. I started playing WoW again, with a couple guys from work. My little sister is 17 now. God damn time flies. Pandora radio is awesome opossum. And that's enough for now cause I have work in the morning and I know I'm going to sleep like shit cause it gets fuckin stupid hot in this appartment. Going to try to do this at least once a week, but we'll see how that goes.

So I was reading back through this thing the other day cause I wanted to verify that I had called something about the new Harry Potter (I totally did... though I think a lot of people did, but still), and I realised that I wrote here a lot more when I was depressed. I hardly post at all lately, partly cause I'm sure very few people read it, and I thought partly cause there's been nothing noteworthy happening, but I think that part's wrong. I just haven't felt like posting cause I haven't been super depressed, or depressed at all really. The last year and a half or so has probably been the best of my life since I was a very, very small child.

I've been flipping burgers for a living, it's an easy job and I like most of the people there. I work 30 hours a week at the most, I make just barely enough to get by (getting by includes buying pot fairly regularly and occasionlly indulging in some alchohol or buying a video game), and it's great, because I really don't like working. I don't mean at this job, I mean at all. I do it because it's essecential to my survival, and more so beacuse it allows me to mantain a comfortable life. A lot of people would probably be quite unhappy living the way I do, but I know that I am blessed to be in my situation, and anyone who can't understand why should probably do some deep thinking about life, the universe, and everything.

Reading back through this thing has also given me the desire to continue writing here because it is, in fact, a journal. I had actually forgotten how incredibly unhappy I was, which speaks even more for how happy I actually am now. I have a general recollection of all of my life, but actually reading the things I wrote at the time drastically shaprens my memory of not just the things that were happening, but how I felt at the time. I really like the idea of coming back to this some day many years from now and pouring over page after page of my stupid rambling, because it helps solidify my experiences, and our experiences are all we have.

I used to write here mostly as a passive way of trying to get a little attention, which is pretty much the only way I try to get attention, beacuse I am quite afraid of expressing myself, and I know it is irrational, but fear is really the greatest motivator in my life, which is really a terrible thing, and I hope that I'm going to be able to change that with a little time. Which brings me to the other thing (kind of still in the middle of what I started with, but that's the great thing about rambling versus structured writing, I don't have to care) aside from doing a whole lot of nothing, I've been doing a whole lot of thinking about my life, and I know that all of that thinking is a significant part of why I am so much happier now. It's a lot of personal stuff that I don't want to get into in a public post.

And the point that I was in the middle of before, I am going to continue writting here now for the purpose of better recalling my life, instead of for the desperate hope that I might get that email saying that I had a reply, somehow giving an ammount of value to my life, value that I used to see very little of.

And now somethings that have happened recently that will want to remember better later. Carl recently introduced me to a fun little game called Zonk, and hopefully in many years when I next have the desire to read through my journal again it will have many entries concerning the game.
I smoked up one of my managers from work after he gave me a ride home the other day. Name's Tom, he's a pretty cool guy, in his mid-thirties I think but has the sense of humor of someone my age if not younger. I gave him some seeds to plant cause he has a house out in the boonies and I was probably never going to do anything with them anyway. Hopefully those will come up again as well.
And those are the two biggest things I can think of at the moment, I'm sure there's other stuff, but I can through it in later, cause I just realised I've been at this for over an hour now and I started to kill a little time while I installed a game that I want to try out, so now I'm going to do that.

Sometimes people put Natural Citrus Listerine in my bong and I don't know until I go to use it. I thought, 'wow, this burns way more than usual' and I had to cut my hit short. And then there was a minty-orange taste in my mouth. Burns like hell, but oddly refreshing.

They did a bit on Weekend Update on SNL about a new law in Bangor that makes it illegal to smoke in vehicle with a minor present. It was ok, marginally amusing, but the chick said "Banger", like in Washington. Sigh.

The Dirty Thirty - 30 Unknown Facts/Secrets About Yourself

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship?
ha ha

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
never

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
snoozing

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
watching that 70's show

5. Are you any good at math?
I get by

6. Your prom night?
could have been worse

7. Do you have any famous relatives?
not that I know of

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
nope

9. Do you know the words to your MySpace song?
screw myspace, I have more than enough bloggage already

10. Last thing you received in the mail?
the weekly

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
uno

13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
green day

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
mostly just swim

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
having half of a tooth removed with a little help from my own stupidity and a big ole wall

16. What is out your back door?
the seat of my pants

18. Do you like the ocean?
very much

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas?
not personally, but as a gift from distant relatives to my family as a whole

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
indeed

22. Something you are excited about?
i'll get back to you

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
red

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
nope

25. Describe your keychain?
a little led flashlight in the shape of a silver flying saucer

26. Where do you keep your change?
in the cover from a spindle of blank cds

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group?
high school I guess

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
none at the moment

29. What do you think of the person you copied this from?
she's a pretty hip chick

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
closed


Well, that was a better way to spend a half hour than watching another episode of that 70's show that I've seen a zillion times before.

a) left : north
b) brown : chocolate
c) sock : plasma
d) news : ramsey

Most people I know would think of me as a waste of life. A smart young man, who could probably really make something of himself, flips bugers for a living. He is quite poor, but he just scraps by, and is happier in general than at any other point in his life. True, it is not at all what he would have imagined. He always knew he could end up pretty much any where from prison to quite wealthy. And I think the major problem in his life is that just can't see the point of anything really. All the shit people, do every day, why do they do it? Jobs? Wealth? Fame? Happiness? Or just beacuse it's what people do? I mean, in the end we are all going to die. And then that's it. Hate to say it, but it makes sense. You were nothing before, why should you be anything after? Man is intelligent, we have science. Science tells me that after-life doesn't make sense. So, you can be the richest, most famous person in the history of the world, remembered for millions of years, and it doesn't matter one bit, cause you are d e a d. Sorry bud. And so what do I do? Work. Earn money. Try to be happy. Because it's what people do. If I spent all my time thinking about the fact that everything I do is entirely pointless, I would go fucking bat-shit-balls-to-the-wall-one-hundred-percent-quacked-out-of-my-twisted-and-sick-little-mind.

And I smoked some really good pot.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what did you think?
This mirror is dirty

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Nada

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
More

4. Favorite planet?
Based on experience, I'd have to say Earth. The air is really nice there

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Pete

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
The one I'm using

7. What shirt are you wearing?
White undershirt

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Yeah

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Hobbit

10. Bright or Dark Room?
The light's on, if that's what you mean

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
"pretty cool dude" works for me

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Nothing fun

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"So s this thing working"

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Hm... Boston maybe?

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
The

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
My little sister

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Molly

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
A couple Benadryl, and a fair amount of thc

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
Zero

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Five was pretty nice

22. Your worst enemy?
K'van

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Still that funky picture of my funky clock

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Night dude

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
Depends how you look at it, I guess. I am able to fly, in a plane. So the money would make more sense. But if you mean fly fly, then it seems like that would be awesome as well as profitable

26. Do you like someone?
Quite a few someones, in fact

27. The last song you listened to?
Drugged by the cops - Frenzal Rhomb

You know, it's really odd how life goes. Yesterday was a very strange day to me, but none of it is really worth mentioning. It can be summed up in saying that an old guy at the bus depot offered to buy me drink, and not a crazy drunk a old guy, a most likely perverted old guy. Not much happened for a while, then there was much driving, then I saw some people I have seen in two years or more, including a girl that I had heard a fair ammount about from Sebastian, but thought I had never met, and in fact had thrown up all over on my one incredibly bad drinking night. Buck's a pretty skinny guy, Barco is still Barco, paul is paul and I still hardly know Ella. And there were a shit ton of people I did not know.

That was all in all a very odd time, but it's not really that much more odd than life normally is, it was just a lot more compressed, you know?

"I'm not done and I won't be till my head falls off."


Also, I'm still alive.

How does a bank give you the wrong routing number for their own god damn bank? I mean, what the fuck?

In other news, nothing has changed. Except I might know what I want to do with my life, but I really have no idea how to go about it. And it will sounds silly, but screw you. I'd like to be an editor/columnist for a video game magazine/website. Because it would rock to get paid to play video games before they're even released. The question is, how does one go about getting into that industry? Hmm.

Other than that, crap is still crap, and it still smells. Or something.

Scott had this link in his journal, and I found it quite amusing and decided to share.
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa003&articleID=0002491F-755F-1473-B55F83414B7F0000&ref=rss

Names of some new movies ammuse me. Jackie Chan's new one: "New Police Story". Pretty sweet. And of course, everyone has heard of "Snakes on a Plane".

Time flies when you're either workng or stoned. There were bits in between, like right now even, but they tend to get lost in the haze when it comes time for remembering. And the acid. That was interesting. Quite enjoyable, even. Thanks for that experience, man.

I'll be able to pay my own rent next month. Woohoo. After this month I should be able to start saving some money up so I can eventually repay my family. I'm pretty pleased with how life is going, for a change. Once my transportation situation is fixed I'll have no complaints. There will certainly be many things still to desire, but I already have far more than I need.

That would be kind of a cheesy note to end on. So here's some filler. Um. I bought some movies. This place was having a sale. I got Rocky Horror Picture Show, Pulp Fiction, The Fifth Element, and Idle Hands. Total was 6 bucks somehting. Pretty rockin. Ok, the end, toodles.

I just realised the black knight on that episode of family guy is voiced by will ferrell. crazy.
and my landlord has a puppy. It's awesome.

Aside from getting stoned and watching old movies about russians and cubans invading the US, I've done a couple other things lately.
I got a job. And... yeah, that's it.
So just one thing then, worth mentioning anyway. At Wendy's in Bangor. Lame, but it's a job, and it's still better than BK or McD's (at least in my mind), and the imortant part is that it will pay the bills. Since I have a job and therefore money, and I'm not going to have to deal with my Dad for a change, this should be the first summer I've actually enjoyed since I got sick of summer camp way back whenever.

On a completely unrelated note, I was watching the Daily Show tonight and apparently Mexico has legalized drugs? So I wanted to read a little more about, so I went to google. From some british telegraph or something:

"The regime, likely to be one of the most liberal in the world, is designed to avoid clogging prisons with drug addicts, allowing police to go after big-time dealers.

Under the Bill, it would be legal to possess 25 milligrams of heroin, five grams of marijuana, half a gram of cocaine as well as small amounts of LSD, hallucinogenic mushrooms, amphetamines and peyote, the hallucinogenic cactus."

So... small amounts are legal, but large amounts are not... They can ignore drug users, to go after drug dealers... Except, wouldn't legalization increase the number of dealers along with the number users? And not just Mexicans... tourists as well, right? I mean "Let's go to Cancun and get drunk (and do drugs even though they're illegal" quite easily transitions directly into into "Let's go to Cancun and get completly fucked", right? Anyway, apparently the President (is that what it's called? I think it is. I should probably know more about the world... meh.) still has to pass it. Whatever. Viva Mexico?

Dude, have you seen the movie Red Dawn? It's fucking amazing. Seriously. Well. Most likely. There is one other thing to consider. And it basically comes down to this: Either Red Dawn is one of the greatest movies ever, or... this is the best high ever. And the Daily Show is pretty amazing right now. So maybe it's a bit of both. But anyway. Really. It's a fuckin sweet as movie.

Dude.